In your corner

Last week, on my facebook page, I posted the time to change campaign video #inyourcorner about not doing mental health alone. 

The key message was that having your friends in your corner can help you carry on when you feel you can't. I couldn't agree more.

However, I would advocate that by combining having someone in your corner, with additional support such as counselling, it can be possible to not just carry on, but to also thrive.

Typically, we have been taught from infancy onwards, that self-sufficiency is an important key to a successful life. You might recognise these words - “don't cry”; “get a grip”; or “get over it”. It implies the less you need the stronger you are.

However, I have learnt and I am still learning that it doesn't get you very far. In fact, it can create a very lonely and isolating life.

Yes, we should have an inner resilience that helps us cope with things. Strength that we can tap into in the times of adversity. But what if you are out of reserves?

I see this every day in my work with couples and individuals. We all struggle to say out loud, "help" or better still "I need you in my corner".

So, let's challenge the idea that needing to talk to someone about how you really feel inside is a weakness or a failure.

Let us start to silence that critical voice that says "you should know this by now”; "you should have sorted this out ages ago”.

Give yourself the permission not to have it all figured out. Tell yourself that it is okay to ask for help. Tell yourself and others that you are a work in progress.

And to those who are appointed to be in your corner, I encourage you to be brave, and be still enough to listen, hear, accept, and support someone in their daily fight for mental wellness. 

Practice saying that it’s okay to not have all the answers right now, and I am here to encourage you until you can. 

Practice saying that It is okay to get support to figure things out.

It is more than okay, it's a good idea.

Lets normalise the notion that not everyone has it all sorted. We are all a work in progress. Let's get in each other’s corner.